When i first started this blog, my intent was simply to chronicle the 'happenings' surrounding the planning and execution of Philip's and my wedding day. Yet the current blog entry that has formed in my head goes a bit past it so bear with me please.
Chocolate
when most people think of chocolate they think of something rich and creamy, perhaps slightly sweet, melting in your mouth, making you feel good, making you smile. I smiled today about chocolate, but it wasn't from having eaten any.
The apartment we currently live in has a lovely back patio with a small patch of ground in which i had originally envisioned a garden rich with veggies and flowers. Then the rains came and i realized that the ground would only really be fit for rice due to its lovely capacity to collect and hold water. I have fretted for over a month while i filled our old plastic planters with a few seedlings while being torn by a conundrum: the gardener in me wants to simply build raised beds, fill with more dirt, and plant the plants i want to grow, but the planner in me realizes that we may only be here for about a year (we hope!) and there are other and better uses for our income at this time.
so what about chocolate? i decided that perhaps the best thing to do in the meantime would be to simply mulch over the weed-ridden ground so it would look a bit nicer for the time that we live here. I ran the idea past Philip and he agreed. So on my way home today i stopped by the garden center of my local gigundo-box-store and began to peruse the mulch. If there was one thing we both felt strongly about it was that we didn't want one of those mulches that smelled so strongly and horribly that we couldn't enjoy our own backyard for a week or so. As i looked down the row of mulches all i saw was smelly, smelly, artificially colored smelly, and rank. at the end was a small pallet of similarly shaped bags but they were opaque so i went over for a closer look. Cocoa hulls. That's right, a chocolate garden.
by the time i got home i had barely touched the bags but already had the intoxicating smell of chocolate surrounding me. I waited until the sun dropped behind the trees (it was quite warm out today) and headed outside to spread the hulls over the weed-ridden ground. yep. chocolate garden.
so why is this in the wedding blog? because i feel it is vitally important (especially during this time) to do things to help relieve stress and maintain a sense of self for both of us. Philip is off playing his miniatures games with his guys for the day. I went and helped a good friend make a dress (and had some much-needed girl time). and then i made a chocolate garden. so there. :)
Engagement
i was reading this wedding blog earlier today.
for example, "For being an Officially Engaged Person of female variety, apparently, means that you're suddenly a walking date book and advertisement for a jewelry store."
it's worth a read. i feel similarly.
What is this 'Wife' thing you speak of?
I confided in my good friend the other day that i was concerned that i would not be a 'good wife.' Without missing a beat my friend, already several years married herself, asked me, "what does it mean to be a good wife?" and she has a very good point. who is it that i am letting define what this new role of mine is supposed to be? why was i trying, as so many do, to define myself by someone else's paradigm of what that word, wife, is supposed to mean.
back when we were preparing for our first passover together, amid concerns from one of the non-jewish members of my family about religious differences, Philip reminded me that this was OUR passover and that we would be having a Seder that said what we wanted it to say. He reminded me that it isn't a time where people are reminded to be 'good Jews' but rather a time where people are reminded to be GOOD PEOPLE.
in fact, this is a frequent topic of conversation in our home, being a good human being. so as long as i start there, with being a good human being and all that entails (e.g., being kind to others - ok i fail miserably at this every day, but i'm trying people, i'm trying) haven't i already started on the right path toward being a 'good wife?' As long as we communicate with one another our needs, our desires, our fears, and our dreams, as long as we remember we are in this together for the next 60-70 years (that sounds like such a short time in terms of having a finite number of years with someone you love) , then i suppose i should stop worrying about what a 'good wife' should be and just BE.
A final note
As much emphasis as is often placed on this one life-altering day, our wedding, and as much stress and we inhale and endure throughout the wedding-planning process, i am reminded that it really ISN'T the big days in life that are so important, that are so life-changing, that are so stress-worthy. Life is about all of the little things in between, and if we don't make those matter then what good is any of it...
Chocolate
when most people think of chocolate they think of something rich and creamy, perhaps slightly sweet, melting in your mouth, making you feel good, making you smile. I smiled today about chocolate, but it wasn't from having eaten any.
The apartment we currently live in has a lovely back patio with a small patch of ground in which i had originally envisioned a garden rich with veggies and flowers. Then the rains came and i realized that the ground would only really be fit for rice due to its lovely capacity to collect and hold water. I have fretted for over a month while i filled our old plastic planters with a few seedlings while being torn by a conundrum: the gardener in me wants to simply build raised beds, fill with more dirt, and plant the plants i want to grow, but the planner in me realizes that we may only be here for about a year (we hope!) and there are other and better uses for our income at this time.
so what about chocolate? i decided that perhaps the best thing to do in the meantime would be to simply mulch over the weed-ridden ground so it would look a bit nicer for the time that we live here. I ran the idea past Philip and he agreed. So on my way home today i stopped by the garden center of my local gigundo-box-store and began to peruse the mulch. If there was one thing we both felt strongly about it was that we didn't want one of those mulches that smelled so strongly and horribly that we couldn't enjoy our own backyard for a week or so. As i looked down the row of mulches all i saw was smelly, smelly, artificially colored smelly, and rank. at the end was a small pallet of similarly shaped bags but they were opaque so i went over for a closer look. Cocoa hulls. That's right, a chocolate garden.
by the time i got home i had barely touched the bags but already had the intoxicating smell of chocolate surrounding me. I waited until the sun dropped behind the trees (it was quite warm out today) and headed outside to spread the hulls over the weed-ridden ground. yep. chocolate garden.
so why is this in the wedding blog? because i feel it is vitally important (especially during this time) to do things to help relieve stress and maintain a sense of self for both of us. Philip is off playing his miniatures games with his guys for the day. I went and helped a good friend make a dress (and had some much-needed girl time). and then i made a chocolate garden. so there. :)
Engagement
i was reading this wedding blog earlier today.
for example, "For being an Officially Engaged Person of female variety, apparently, means that you're suddenly a walking date book and advertisement for a jewelry store."
it's worth a read. i feel similarly.
What is this 'Wife' thing you speak of?
I confided in my good friend the other day that i was concerned that i would not be a 'good wife.' Without missing a beat my friend, already several years married herself, asked me, "what does it mean to be a good wife?" and she has a very good point. who is it that i am letting define what this new role of mine is supposed to be? why was i trying, as so many do, to define myself by someone else's paradigm of what that word, wife, is supposed to mean.
back when we were preparing for our first passover together, amid concerns from one of the non-jewish members of my family about religious differences, Philip reminded me that this was OUR passover and that we would be having a Seder that said what we wanted it to say. He reminded me that it isn't a time where people are reminded to be 'good Jews' but rather a time where people are reminded to be GOOD PEOPLE.
in fact, this is a frequent topic of conversation in our home, being a good human being. so as long as i start there, with being a good human being and all that entails (e.g., being kind to others - ok i fail miserably at this every day, but i'm trying people, i'm trying) haven't i already started on the right path toward being a 'good wife?' As long as we communicate with one another our needs, our desires, our fears, and our dreams, as long as we remember we are in this together for the next 60-70 years (that sounds like such a short time in terms of having a finite number of years with someone you love) , then i suppose i should stop worrying about what a 'good wife' should be and just BE.
A final note
As much emphasis as is often placed on this one life-altering day, our wedding, and as much stress and we inhale and endure throughout the wedding-planning process, i am reminded that it really ISN'T the big days in life that are so important, that are so life-changing, that are so stress-worthy. Life is about all of the little things in between, and if we don't make those matter then what good is any of it...
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